Happy 4th

So we had a great 4th! Of course we were just at home, but it was actually alot of fun. Some of our amazing friends brought over a huge thing of fireworks for us and we also woke up to another big box of them on the 4th from someone??? Needless to say...we had a great firework show :-) Some of our good friends came over and we had a little party on the driveway:-)  Sawyer really liked the fireworks, but at times seemed more interested in monitoring who was riding his bike and bigwheel. He is still working on the whole sharing thing.

He has been loving filling up his pool and sliding down the slide into it (thank you little Chloe for lending us your slide). He is also Loving the sprinkler....he likes us to hold hands and run through it together. I manage to extend my arm out so that he runs right through it and I only get sprinkled a little :-) He has no clue-

A little off subject, but people are always asking me about Grahams leukemia spots and what they look like so I'm putting a picture below. You can't see them super good...for some reason they don't show up very well in pics. Also, I'm not exactly sure how the Leukemia responding to the chemo. They think he is doing good, but it's so hard to tell when it's not in his bone marrow. That is one of the things we will be talking with them tomorrow about. Well brace yourself for picture overload :-) It's been a fun week....might as well document it!!! 

Skin Lesions

We decided every one with cancer deserves a hat....compliments of Grandma Jorja!!

Round 2 "Welcome Home Party"

Sawyer playing!

Nathan & Sawyer on the 4th

39 days...phew it's over!!

Not really sure where to start other than we made it home for the 4th!!! After an eventful 39 day stay in the hospital little Graham decided he had had enough:-) his counts finally came up and he has been doing really good at home. Once again he is so happy and like a brand new boy! After not taking a bottle for as long as he did he will not eat!!! So everything goes through his feeding tube. I have been offering him the bottle every feeding, but he is not interested and usually ends up gagging and throwing up. Not sure what to do from this point so I guess I'll wait and get help with it once we go back. He is definitely not withering away :-)

This time at home has been a little better. We have known more what to expect and have felt a little more organized. The meds and feedings keep us busy, but we have been having a lot of fun. Graham is Loving Sawyer and I think the feeling is mutual:-) I asked Sawyer today if it was ok that Graham go back to the hospital and he was not happy about it. Sawyer has been having a lot of fun with him.

Sawyer has adjusted really well to this whole thing. He has his moments for sure, but I am pretty sure that is the 2 year old coming out. My mom has been here the whole month of June and I/we really don't know what we would do without her!! Sawyer loves her to death and keeps asking me when Grandma Jorja is coming home....I think he thinks that his grandmas live here now:-) she has been a HUGE blessing and for lack of a better word a "workhorse". She doesn't waste a minute and has helped me so much this last month. She has not only taken care of Sawyer, but has been at the hospital a lot!! She probably was with Graham almost as much as I was the last couple of weeks. I just want to let her know that I appreciate more than words can say the huge sacrifice she's made. To drop everything to be here to help us is....no word to describe our gratitude. Thank you so so much mom!!! And also dad for lending her to us for the month!Love u both!!!!

As we head into round 3....(kind of nice to be able to say 3!!) I feel that Graham is do for an easy breezy one. He has his routine bone marrow aspirate and lumbar puncture tomorrow and then we come back home until Monday...he will start chemo then. This round is 5 days of chemo and then ??? days of whatever decides to come our way....maybe nothing?? that sounds nice right?! It is scary to think of the possibilities...but on the flip side it could possibly be problem free- guess we will see. This whole process has been scary in so many different ways. Of course the obvious one...I'm scared for my little baby. Scared that the chemo won't be effective. Scared that it will be effective, but too much for his little body to handle. Scared that something will happen to Sawyer...I wouldn't be able to cope....really. Scared for any strain it could cause on my marriage. I think the list could go on and on...my mom told me in the beginning when this all started that, "Faith and Fear cannot reside together". This has honestly been the quote that goes through my head on a daily basis...sometimes several times a day. Every time I get scared I just have to think that....because honestly in a situation like ours you would be coming unglued on a daily basis if you let fear rule you. We just have to trust that things will be ok:-) other than that we have little control- Our little family has grown closer and stronger and we have realized that without each other we really have "nothing". Living at the hospital I've learned how much "stuff" I really can live without....although I do love my "stuff":-). So happy to say that we have almost made it to our halfway mark!!!! Good job little man:-)